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Beard growers anonymous..!

By Robert Clements. Dated: 4/26/2015 12:21:57 AM

I remember this incident many years ago in JFK, New York when I was detained in a room all because I had a beard, it was only after making a noise and telling concerned authorities I would write about this senseless suspicion that they apologized and let me out.
"What we need to do," said another bearded friend of mine, "is start an association; Beard Growers Anonymous!"
"Full beard!" I shouted, "no Van Dyke, Abe Lincoln, goatee or five o clock shadow!"
"No side whiskers or designer stubble!" said my friend gleefully.
"How do we go about it?" I asked.
"First, we write to owners of airlines who have beards.."
"Like Virgin and Vijay Mallya?"
"Tell them, that those with beards fly exclusive business class!"
"Why not the whole plane exclusively for us bearded fellows?" I asked excitedly.
"Then we won't be able to torment or harass clean shaven passengers," said my friend, "the whole idea is to let them see the shoddy treatment we get!"
"We subject them to double security checks!"
"Ask them reasons why they've not grown a beard!"
"Feel their silky smooth cheeks and enquire politely whether they also shave their legs! Then request them to show those legs to us in a detention room to check whether they are female terrorists impersonating men!"
"Ha, ha, ha! This is going to be fun!" I said.
I must have dozed off after my bearded friend left me, and found myself on a plane filled with bearded men.
"Why don't you grow a full beard like mine?" asked the man sitting next to me.
"Mine is quite full," I said.
"Yeah, but it doesn't touch your waist like mine," he said.
"I'm quite happy with mine," I said quietly.
"I'm not," he said.
"Then fly another airline," I said.
"This ones exclusively for full bearded guys!" he shouted, "Friends, I pass a resolution that only those with waist long beards be allowed to fly this airline!"
"Yeah!" shouted everybody, and I was just being forcibly thrown out from the aircraft when I woke up.
"I talked to some airline owners!" shouted my friend excitedly, "and they're interested! We're gonna have thousands growing beards just to fly with us!"
"No!" I whispered, "nothings going to change! What we need is grow tolerance, open mindedness and understanding; not just protesting groups..!"
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